Friday, May 27, 2011

Baby's Skin Asthma

Kailee has skin asthma, I can't explain how bad I felt that day.  It was unexplainable.  I know it's mababaw and is treatable, but even so - I felt so bad!  I think I was depressed that whole afternoon.  Anyway, I made an entry on my other blog - read on!


Kailee's Skin Asthma

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Things we talk about..


As we grow older and mature – so do the topics of conversation.  When we were all younger and in High School, the topics consisted of boys, crushes and college.  In college it was of thesis and what we wanted to do with our lives.  When joined the workforce it was of salaries and where we saw ourselves in five to ten years.  Then after a few years the topics were of getting married, managing a household and having kids.

I swear, I never thought of the day that I will have problems managing my household.  I’ve had my share of helper problems - and just recently, yaya problems.  I’ve shared them with you – and from what you’ve read, it has been stressful!  And since I am purely breastfeeding my baby, things are more complicated.  There is no definite feeding schedule (as compared to the baby being formula fed), I feed by demand which means, when the baby is hungry – that’s the time I nurse my baby.  This method is unpredictable – the baby can ask to be fed in as short as hourly to a maximum of four hour intervals.  When your hired help is not used to purely breastfeeding – things can be hard, but with much eagerness to help, the adjustment becomes a lot easier.

Case in point – my new yaya.  Yaya D was supposed to be my friend Kath’s yaya – but Yaya wanted to work immediately, but she was willing to wait since Kath was going to give birth end of May or early June.  When I was having yaya problems, I sent Kath a text message asking permission if I could have the Yaya that was reserved for her by our agency – and she said yes.  I asked my mom to do the interviewing for me (as she can intimidate and knows more what things to look for and ask)  but the only thing she asked the agency was who the last employer of Yaya D was.  Fortunately, the last employer was a supplier of ours!  My mom then immediately called the supplier and asked how Yaya D was with them.  My mom learned that Yaya D stayed with our supplier for nine (9) years – yes, you read that right!  Nine (9) freaking years – taking care of a newborn, and then eventually taking care of the three kinds (2 girls and 1 boy).  Our supplier was all praises for the yaya, he said that the only problem they encountered was that they were living with his parents who meddled with the yaya’s method – but still, can you imagine staying for nine (9) years?  My mom did not bother to interview the yaya because she thought it was useless – my mom believed in trying them out for a few days to see their capabilities.  And so when Yaya D came to the house – she immediately took the baby from me and took care of her.  As I was watching her, I was impressed because for a person who took care of a newborn some nine years ago – she still knew what she was doing.  I asked her – if she still knew how to take care of a newborn since it nine years ago – she said yes, these things she said – a yaya doesn’t forget.  But the proof would be in her work – and work she did, and she was good.  I did not need to teach her what to do – she already knew them all!  I informed her that I was purely breastfeeding my baby – to which she said that with her previous employers they were mixing breastmilk and formula – and that I’ll be her first ever breastfeeding only employer.  I also informed her that our schedule will depend on the baby as I feed by demand.  I told her that we might be up all night, and that when the baby is hungry – she’ll have to knock on my door so I can nurse.  She was really nice and attentive.  She took care of my baby very well – what impressed me the most was that how she cleaned my baby’s bumbum with rashes!  I did not need to teach her what to do – she knew what needed to be done (which was to use running water)  the impressive thing was that – she did not bother fetching water and putting it in a wash basin, what she did was carry my baby and turn on the faucet and voila!  Baby’s bumbum was clean – baby did not feel the ‘hurt’ from the wet cotton’s contact on the rashes, this made me realize – why I never thought of bringing my baby to the sink for clean ups!  I then tell myself – first time mom, walang alam!  Haha!  Also she asked me if she could do the laundry in the bathroom since she couldn’t be away from the baby – another ‘why didn’t I think of that’ moment!  Smart and practical right? 

So now, it’s been almost three weeks since she’s been here with me and I have to say – she made things a LOT easier for me. I’ve also semi stopped using the baby monitor during the day.  I’ve been able to go out without worrying if my baby is in good hands, I knew that if I gave instructions, Yaya D would immediately understand and know how to execute them.  She’s proven her worth in as early as the first three days to me.  Yaya D and I are good, we’re good.  I really like her and I see how she lovingly takes care of my baby.  She told me there are two kinds of yayas – kind one is the yaya who just works for the salary; kind two is the yaya who has compassion and love for her work and kids, she said that these two traits cannot be taught but is innate.  And she is the second kind – you can see how she likes taking care of babies/kids – her patience is long and she never loses her cool even if the baby cries endlessly.  She’s also very enthusiastic and good with ‘pakikisama’ – she’s the exact opposite of YFH.  She gets along well with everyone and is very polite and courteous.  Since her former employers were Chinese, she knew what to call my parents and my in-laws.

I think that’s why I haven’t been ranting of yaya woes, I’m happy with her.  I consider myself lucky that I found her – and I think she also feels the same way, well – I hope she feels the same way too!  I can actually say that I love her J  Hahaha!! 

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Surviving my FIRST YFH experience

What is YFH - loosely coined by mommies, its Yaya From Hell - YFH

A few days ago, I finally had the courage to let my yaya go already.  I was becoming very dissatisfied with her work already - the last straw came when my Kailee developed rashes in her butt area - whats worse was that, there were two spots that the skin peeled off!  That was when I decided that I've had enough.  You can read my Yaya stories here, here and here.

The last straw happened at 4 in the morning just this Tuesday - you see the night before, my Panget was checking in on Kailee before he went to sleep - I was doing the same, watching the baby monitor.  Suddenly Kailee cried, I heard my Panget call YFH to check on Kailee's nappies - so I was waiting to see a different set of hands remove Kailee's blanket - but a few seconds passed and I saw nothing.  I just heard noises that I assumed were from opening the bathroom door and YFH preparing the things needed to clean Kailee's but.  I immediately went into the room and saw that YFH was inside the bathroom, I asked YFH 'Na-check mo na ba yung diaper ni Kailee?' to which she answered 'OPO Ma'am'.  My Panget and I looked at each other dumbfounded!  My Panget said that YFH did NOT check the diapers and I also knew she didn't - so I asked the question again - to which she replied 'Opo ma'am kaning 10 pa po' and that was like 12 midnight already!  I was pissed!  Because the fact was she didn't check the diaper when she said she did!  It was as if she thought we didn't know or we didn't see her!  So during the 4am feeding, I told her that I wanted her to check the diapers FIRST before doing anything - and she said that she did!  I knew she didn't but I didn't bother telling her what I knew and saw - I insisted to her once again 'Basta, gusto ko silipin mo muna yung diaper bago ka magprepare ng mga panlinis'  to which she replied 'Eh ma'am, na-check ko naman po eh!'  When I asked her what time she said 10pm - the conversation went on and on, her - declaring that she checked the nappies.  I was so pissed that I told her that I saw her through the baby monitor that she did not check - it was then that she admitted that she did not check but she said this 'Nakita ko na pong lumobo ang diaper ni Kailee'  How the F will she see the lobo of diaper when there's a blanket over Kailee?!  This made me more angry because she was already trying to make palusot!  I was so mad at her that I told her 'Pano mangyayari yon kung ma kumot na nakatakit sa katawan ni Kailee?'  She didn't stop from there!  She insisted that she saw what she saw!  This made me so angry to the point that I told her 'Tanungin natin si Sir bukas kung may kumot o wala si Kailee'  When I said this she immediately looked at the clock and said 'Sige na ma'am, para matapos na'  My blood was boiling already!!  After nursing Kailee - I was soooo pissed at her that I got Kailee and had her sleep in my room!  I then told my Panget that morning that I've had enough of YFH.  He then gave me the go signal to have her changed - he heard the WHOLE conversation that yaya was making palusot - and FINALLY saw the light that I wasn't patient enough with YFH.

So that Tuesday - I went and woke Yaya up so she can do her personal chores.  And she took her sweet time - my patience was already thinning but I still kept quiet.  But that afternoon - I told her off that I was letting her go because I was becoming dissatisfied with her work, and that the rashes of Kailee were the last straw.  She took it well, I think she was happy too!  You see, she didn't want to work anymore and wanted to go home already.  I told her that what I didn't like most about her was that she was making so many palusot thinking that she can get away with them!  She will only admit after much proding which is not nice - I mean, pahahabain mo pa ba yung usapan or aamin ka nalang diba?

That didn't end there!  Apparently this YFH was going through our garbage!  She took with her ALL of the ice cream containers - deeming it hers, when I said 'Hindi ba amin yan?  Tinapon na namin yan sa basurahan?'  she said 'Kaya nga ma'am since nasa basura na, kinuha ko po!'  I was pissed!  Then I saw a bunch of diapers that I threw away because I wasn't sure if it was hygenic since it came from a diaper cake gift', she took them ALL!  I told her that those were intended for trash - if she wanted to take them she HAD to ask permission - because in all honesty, what she did can me deemed stealing or taking without permission!  But what can I do right?

So, when she left - I was soooooooo relieved!!!!  The feeling was sooo liberating!  It was like nabunutan ako ng tinik!!

I have a lot of friends chiding me with 'Welcome to the club of Yaya's from HELL!'

Monday, April 11, 2011

Yaya is testing my Patience

Lord, please bless me with MORE patience!!

Patience is indeed a virtue and as of the moment, it is being tested in me right now.

I've written about Yaya Jenny previously but I think I forgot to mention that she had a change of heart, she had decided to stay.  I don't know if I was happy or was saddened by that news because here are my pros and cons:

Pros:
-  Yaya can 'hele' Kailee to sleep
-  Yaya wakes up at night when Kailee fusses (and doesn't complain about it!)
-  Yaya cleans the room, launders and irons ALL of Kailee's clothes and other items
-  Yaya is patient with Kailee when she cries and fusses
-  Yaya can handle Kailee's loud cries and kicks
-  Yaya is neat with Kailee's things
-  Yaya smiles a lot and sports a happy face
-  Yaya likes to dress Kailee up and talks to her too

Cons:
-  Yaya can't seem to follow verbal instructions given to her (she will tell you that she understands the instructions but when you have her repeat them, she smiles and makes an effort to try and let you feel that she understands what you needed her to do to the point that she will make things up)
-  Yaya has zombie moments
-  Yaya is slow in doing her personal chores (eating, taking a bath, etc..) and tasks given to her
-  Yaya is nosy at times (she likes to be in the know)
-  Yaya likes to join in on conversations of others (like guests who come and visit Kailee)
-  Yaya likes to brag about her past employers and what she does
-  Yaya likes to make palusot - thinking that she can 'lusot' but is always na bibisto!
-  Yaya's favorite line is 'Alam ko na yan, ginagawa/ginagamit ko yan sa mga dati kong alaga' or 'Ganyan ang ginagawa ko sa anak ko'
-  Yaya likes to share stories of her personal life to people who are not interested
-  Yaya doesn't like it that you confront her nor does she like being told what wrong thing she did
-  Yaya will just say OPO MA'AM just for the sake of saying it without really understanding the instructions

As of the moment, the Lord is I think testing my patience, why?  Here's why:

Ever since Kailee was born - the midwife we hired, Elena taught us to use petroleum jelly as a preventive measure to diaper rash.  She taught us to coat the folds and the butt area of Kailee before putting on diapers.  This procedure comes after the drying process (after wiping off of poop/pee) and Elena taught us to use cotton buds to spread it evenly and lightly.  I remember distinctly Elena telling Yaya Jenny to take care of Kailee's but because Elena was the one who took care of Kailee's butt for the first two weeks of Kailee's life. 

Fast forward to two weeks later, Yaya comes up to me and tells me 'Parang may rashes si Kailee'  I then took a look and saw redness, I just told Yaya to place petroleum jelly more generously to that area.  And she did - but after one day, the redness seemed to turn into small rashes - this prompted me to text my pedia Dr. Joy Ty-Sy to ask what can be placed on Kailee's redness - she told me to get Desitin.  Good thing my good friend Kath, bought a big jar of it while in Canada, and she gladly shared some with me.  This was a week ago, we continued to put Desitin and it seems to be working fine, the redness has somehow diminished and there were only two parts that needed more attention.

Fast forward to this morning:  After nursing Kailee this morning, she started to cry - I knew this cry of hers wasn't of hunger but of pain.  I immediately assumed that Kailee was getting irritated because of wet nappies - this made me check Kailee's diapers and true enough, her diaper was full of poop!  I then gave Yaya a call (she was downstairs laundering clothes of Kailee and then some) she said that she will be up in a few minutes - this prompted me to do everything myself.  I prepared all the things that I needed to change her - and when I did, what welcomed my eyes were redness everywhere!  The once redness in the butt area was already fleshy - apparently, a little skin peeled off!  I then realized that that was the reason for the constant crying!  I immediately told my Panget that we needed to go to the doctor to have her butt checked - and when we did, our Pedia winced and said that indeed, the rashes were causing Kailee pain.  She advised us to change diapers during the night because the cause of the rashes was prolonged exposure to wetness - meaning, the diapers weren't absorbent enough thus the contact of pee and poo was too long.  She also advised us not to use wet cotton balls nor wet wipes to clean the poop and pee, she told us to use running water or 'i-tabo' the water for cleaning - and to use Cetaphil.  When we left the clinic, I asked Yaya to repeat the instructions of the doctor - she looked at me and it took a while for her to verbalize the answer - her first answer was 'Gumamit ng basang cotton balls...'  When she said this, I immediately cut her off saying that that wasn't the instructions.  She then thought about it again and said 'Ah!  Gumamit ng Cetaphil!'  I replied with 'Ano pa' because that was only part of the instructions!  She was blank - I think Yaya has selective hearing - the only things she heard was 'Cetaphil' - I then reminded her 'Diba ang sabi gumamit ng running water at Cetaphil?  Ibig sabihin kelangan ipadaan ng tubig yung lilinisang area'  When my Panget heard this - he told me to repeat the instructions to the Yaya when we went home.  And when we got home - Kailee pooped, and so there - we had our first trial at the new instructions of the Pedia.  Yaya prepared the water in a wash basin and then she took the cotton balls and the baby wash!  When I saw this - I was very much bothered already, I asked her 'Ano ulit ang instructions ni doctora sa atin?  Paano lilinisin ang pwet ni Kailee?'  She then remembered there was no need for the cotton balls - I then gestured to the baby wash - she looked at me blankly and said 'Gagamitin ko po ito, panlinis''  I asked her again 'Ano ba ang sinabi ni doctora na gagamitin natin?  She thought of an answer then all of a sudden, her face brightened up and she exclaimed 'Cetaphil ang gamitin!'  I then pointed to her the baby wash - to which she told me 'Eh wala namang Cetaphil eh!'  I told her - that I have one.  I'm sure Yaya knew that I had one - I used Cetaphil to clean Kailee's face, its quite impossible for her to not see the big Cetaphil pump!  I assumed that she was making excuses again - because the Cetaphil method of cleaning slipped her mind.  And then I asked - 'Marunong ka ba gumamit ng Cetaphil?'  She replied yes - this made me ask her 'Sige, pano mo gagamitin ang Cetaphil?'  You know what her reply is to me?  She said 'Ginagamit ko na po yan sa mga dati kong alaga'  This line is soooooo gasgas already!  This has been her reply WHENEVER we have a new items that we'd like Kailee to use like the Desitin cream, and etc.  I then asked her again 'Paano mo gagamitin ang Cetaphil - Ikwento mo sa akin'  to which she said 'Ilalagay ko ang Cetaphil sa basang twalya at ipupunas kay Kailee'  WRONG!!  The reason why the Pedia advised us to use running water was to eliminate the friction caused by the cotton balls or towels rubbing on Kailee's rashes - contact by cotton and towels will only cause pain to Kailee!  I then repeated the instructions of the Pedia to her - and she said 'Oo nga, tama yan - para hindi masaktan si Kailee sa mga sugat niya'  WTF??!! Now you agree with me, when just a few seconds ago - iba ang gagawin mo!!  I was really irritated and bothered kaya after Yaya cleaned Kailee up with me na nagbubuhos ng water via tabo - I stayed with Kailee and I didn't want to leave her.


My patience is really really thinning - HELP ME LORD!!


Konti nalang talaga, I'm on the verge of letting her go na!! 
Ewan ko ba kung mashado lang ako maselan, kung ako ba ang maarte or what eh, pero every little thing - I see!!! Grr.....

Monday, April 4, 2011

Time flies

Can you believe that in a few days - my little K will be a month old already?

It seems like yesterday that I gave birth to her!  I can still recall every single detail of my giving birth to her!  Wow - time does fly huh??!!

Now that she's almost a month old - I can see her moods now.  Lately, she's been wanting to sleep on my chest every after feeding - and it's not as easy as that!  When I notice that she's asleep, I'd lay her on the crib - but after a few seconds, she'll be awake and crying!  When I pick her up and lay her on my chest, she'll go back to sleep!  This has been happening for a week now.  It's really nice BUT sometimes, I can't get things done - like going to the bathroom (sorry, too much information) or when I get hungry!  But it's okay - whatever my little K wants or needs and as long as I can do it for her - let it be.  It seems like I'm her mattress now!  Hahahaha

It was just this evening that we noticed that she can already see us.  My Panget was wearing his red basketball jersey - and little K's eyes were following my Panget when he moved!  It was so cute because my Panget would literally move from one side to another just to prove that little K can indeed see!!  And she can see!!  YIPEEEEEEEE!!!!

For the past two days, I've noticed that little K seemed to be hungry more often.  When before, we had a sort of schedule of two to three hour intervals for feeding - now, it can be as short as an hour and the longest would be an hour and a half!  I am afraid that she might be eating too much because of the repeated spit-ups, but doctor says its normal - the feeding and the spit-ups.

I asked my baker sister in law to make a cake for my little K this Friday - so we can celebrate little K's one month birthday!!!

I can't believe that I'm already nearing the end of counting how many days old little K is - I should start counting how many months old she is.....

Happy First Month my little darling Kailee!!
We love you!!

Friday, March 25, 2011

Yaya Blues....

Remember the yaya that was 'meant to be'?


Well, when Kailee was still inside me - Yaya was very very helpful around the house.  I liked her because she's malinis magtrabaho, she's also not makwenta with the household chores - whatever she can do to help my all-around, she does without being asked to.  She cooks and cleans and does laundry.  I have no complaints about her - nada.  She seemed too perfect, a little too perfect honestly.



But when Kailee was born - I asked her to keep me company in the hospital.  She was very attentive although I noticed that she was having a hard time listening to instructions and also she was quite insistent on certain things like having Kailee wear a bigkis and Kailee drinking formula.  You see, I've told her a number of times that Kailee will be breastfed - she then told me 'Ma'am mas tataba ang baby kapag pinainom natin ng formula'  to which I replied, that we will be purely breastfeeding the baby.  When we were about to leave the hospital, my Pedia - Dr. Joy Ty-Sy came by to visit and Yaya again told us 'Mas tataba si baby kung ihahalo natin ng formula milk'  This prompted my Pedia to say to her 'Yaya, friends tayo ha! PURE breastfeeding tayo dapat!'  Diba?  Pati the Pedia napagsabihan pa siya tuloy!  Another similar incident was that of wearing a bigkis - I kept on telling her that it was advised by the midwife (Elena) that babies nowadays don't wear bigkis anymore because it causes infection of the belly buttons - BUT Yaya still insisted this to me, the nurse then told her that it was not practiced anymore because it causes infection.


This made me realize that Yaya seems to have a problem listening - and everyone knows how I HATE people with poor listening skills!  Listening for me is one important step to avoid miscommunication and misunderstanding, but apparently - this Yaya of mine has a problem with her listening skills.


The first few days were hard for the both of us - since of course, Kailee is already around.  Yaya has her methods, while I have mine (which I perceive to be correct) and of course, I want my methods to be followed - right?  Yaya once told me that she's experienced with newborns but somehow I wasn't as convinced of that - I knew she took care of her daughter BUT taking care of your daughter is different with taking care of another person's baby.  My Panget insisted that we hire a midwife to help us (me and my Panget) out and also the Yaya, to give her a re-fresher course of some sort.  Good thing was that Yaya did not take offense!  She even welcomed the additional information - although sometimes, she forgets tiny little things.


This morning, I woke up to loud voices in the other room - apparently, it was my mom's voice.  She was arguing with the yaya on the issue of Yaya using baby wash on Kailee's face.  My mom said maybe it was the cause of the rashes.  To cut the long story short, Yaya used water slightly soaped with baby wash and wiped it on Kailee's face during her afternoon punas punas - this was what my mom noticed - to which Yaya denied and denied - she insisted that she used Lactacyd (We use Lactacyd on Kailee during her morning bath and not her afternoon punas-punas).  Eventually after much prodding, Yaya admitted to using the water slightly soaped with baby wash - this angered my mom because had Yaya admitted to it early on, there would be no argument, right?  When I went to the room, my mom was re-telling the issue - to let me know what has happened then after a few seconds she started crying and said with a soft voice 'Ma'am kung ayaw niyo po ang trabaho ko, pwede niyo naman ako sabihan ng maayos, aalis naman po ako!'  This angered me!  My mom even walked out of the room out of anger - I mean, Yaya has this habit of reasoning with her wrongdoing to make it right, then in the end - she will admit her mistake!  I mean, why not admit to the mistake immediately instead of reasoning lengthily trying to right the wrong?  Then when you reprimand her, she will tell you that she can be replaced??  The midwife then told Yaya in a joking manner 'Kaya ka pala NPA (No Permanent Address) kasi lagi kang nanghahamon na aalis ka, sabi mo bukas ang isipan mo at tumatanggap ka ng mga pagkakamali?'  This statement somehow made Yaya feel good!  Which was weird! 



In the end - after much psyching up of the midwife, Yaya admitted to the wrong doing - but it was already too late!  Yaya has this late reaction to things you see, after much explaining - she will eventually realize her mistake.  The midwife also told Yaya not to take offense when being reprimanded because being reprimanded only helps you to remember what you should and should not do - and EVERYONE gets reprimanded - there's no exception to that.



Midwife then told me to try and look for a back-up yaya just in case this one will challenge me to another 'Magpapa-alam' incident, kasi kawawa daw si Kailee - which is true.

Thus, I am on a search again.  Even if Yaya is still with me, she gave me the impression that she comes and goes because she told me 'Mag-se-stay ako hangga't makakaya ko, pag di ko na kaya - magpapaalam po ako'  So with that statement, I have to be warned.


What do you think??

Growth Spurts & Fussy Baby

We're experiencing our first growth spurt!

Yesterday, Kailee wanted to be fed every hour!  She can't seem to sleep or doesn't want to sleep!  Yaya and I were tired from pacifying Kailee - good thing when my friend Kath & Denz came, she fell right to sleep while we were chatting away.

Kailee slept very well last night, only waking up every two to three hours to be nursed.  This was a good sign.

And this morning after nursing her at 7am - she slept soundly until 11am.

I was so uneasy yesterday - because I didn't know what to do!!  I felt so bad for Kailee because I knew she was sleepy, but just couldn't seem to sleep!!  She was reall fussy!!

But today, she was a good baby - she slept and ate and slept.  No fussy-ness, no shrieking cries!

My Panget and I had to leave for a while to go to a designer's fitting.  I asked my mom to come by to watch Kailee - I had prepared for them two bottles with 2oz of breastmilk each - just in case Kailee gets hungry.  But before we left, I was still able to nurse her - I just had to stop nursing because we had to leave.

Thirty minutes later - I get a text message from my mom saying that Kailee finished the first bottle in three minutes!  Then after a while, I get another message saying that the second bottle was consumed in five minute and it was a good thing that after the second bottle - Kailee fell asleep!

My mom was worried that after the second bottle, Kailee was still hungry!  Good thing she wasn't, but when I got home - when I saw Kailee, she instantly cried and wanted to nurse.  My mom said that Kailee might have smelled my scent - thus she knew mommy was home!!

When I look at Kailee, I can't help but smile - she's the cutest thing!  And I am much more happy when I see how my mom and my Panget fall in love with Kailee every time they see her.  Its a different feeling seeing them like this!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Help Helper!

Since I gave birth - my yaya has been concentrating on the baby.  We hired a midwife for two weeks to help the yaya out - some sort of a refresher course for her and also for me.  The midwife, Elena has been very helpful - she taught me and the yaya how to bathe Kailee, how to burp her and so many other things.  I wish I can hire her forever!  If I had the money - why not!  But it will be a very expensive yaya - who works for only 8 hours.  Hahaha!!

Anyhoo, since Yaya has been with Kailee most of the time - my all-around helper, Cathy - has been quite busy.  She has been doing all the cleaning, the cooking and the laundry.  Just last month, she was only servicing two people - me and my Panget, with the help of Yaya.  The tandem of Yaya and Cathy has been very effective - they seem to help one another out with chores around the house, but since we came home with Kailee - the work they both did before, she has been doing on her own. 

It only occurred to me that she was having a hard time when I noticed that I was running out of PJs to wear.  I spoke to her and asked why it was taking so long - she then told me that she had a lot on her hands, cleaning and cooking and doing the laundry - she didn't have enough time.  This made me decide to take out the laundry-ing out of the equation, I called my mom and asked if I can still have our laundry sent to them for Manang to wash - and of course she said yes (Thanks Ma!). 

Since I took one chore out of her hands, I gathered that she will have an easier time doing the cleaning and the cooking.  She told me that somehow, it helped because she didn't need to keep rushing to do her chores, I then reminded her that even if she had enough time now - she's not supposed to slack off.

So far, so good but she still needs a little work on her time management.

But its all good, thank you Lord!! :)

P.S. About 3 years ago, I wondered why my SIL had hired 2 helpers for her house (that is on top of her 2 Yayas), it was only now that I realized that one helper cannot do EVERYTHING especially when there's a baby around.  The Yayas become focused on the little ones since that's their main job - as for the all around, she becomes tasked to take care of the household - and her two hands and two feet can only take her so far and so additional help can make things better - makes tasks easier to do.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Ge Lai Diaries

March 7, 2011 (Monday)
Got admitted in Cardinal Santos, I wanted to go home BUT wasn't allowed to
This was the last night that I took a bath!
Felt so refreshed and I have to thank my OB's resident Dr. Janina Go!!  (she gave me a sachet of shampoo!)


March 8, 2011(Tuesday)
First day of my no ligo day!
I felt normal - didn't feel dirty because I was cleaned up pretty well by the nurses!
I was sleepy and tired the whole day


March 9, 2011 (Wednesday)
Second day of my no ligo day!
Still felt normal, I didn't notice the icky feeling yet, maybe because Cardinal's aircon is cold!
Changed hospital gown and sheets (this, somehow made me feel - fresher!)

March 10, 2011 (Thursday)
Third day of my no ligo day!
Felt itchy on my back - because of the epidural catheter's tape!  
Got discharged during lunch time.  Started wearing PJs (long sleeves with socks ALL day)
Tied my hair for the first time since I got admitted (March 7)
Made punas-punas using HOT water with Vinagre Aromatico!

March 11, 2011 (Friday)
Fourth day of no ligo day!
Felt itchy on my back and on my lower abs and navel because of the tape's adhesive.
Had to clean the adhesive left on my skin using baby oil
Hair was still okay - tied it into a ponytail
Made punas-punas using HOT water with Vinagre Aromatico!

March 12, 2011 (Saturday)
Fifth day of no ligo day!
Hair is still okay
Made punas-punas using HOT water with Vinagre Aromatico!

March 13, 2011 (Sunday)
Sixth day of no ligo day!
Hair is getting a bit oily, but the feeling is still okay
Made punas-punas using HOT water with Vinagre Aromatico!

March 14, 2011 (Monday)
Seventh day of no ligo day!
I thought to myself - 7 more days to go!!
Hair is getting oily - I keep it in a ponytail the whole time, para di ako mairita!
Made punas-punas using HOT water with Vinagre Aromatico!

March 15, 2011 (Tuesday)
Eighth day of no ligo day!
My baby's a week old!  And still - I've had no shower!!
Hair is getting oilier and oilier!!
Made punas-punas using HOT water with Vinagre Aromatico!


March 16, 2011 (Wednesday)
Ninth day of no ligo day!
Its confirmed, hair is super oily at this point!
Scalp is also beginning to itch!
Made punas-punas using HOT water with Vinagre Aromatico!

March 17, 2011 (Thursday)
Tenth day of no ligo day!
My scalp is getting itchier, but I can still handle it! 
Tied my hair in a ponytail
Made punas-punas using HOT water with Vinagre Aromatico!


March 18, 2011 (Friday)
Eleventh day of no ligo day!
My scalp is soooo itchy!!  Hair is still on a ponytail!
Made punas-punas using HOT water with Vinagre Aromatico!


March 19, 2011 (Saturday)
Twelfth day of no ligo day!
My scalp is super itchy na!  Hair is feeling so oily and dirty!
Made punas-punas using HOT water with Vinagre Aromatico!

March 20, 2011 (Sunday)
Thirteenth day of no ligo day!
Scalp is itchy and stinks like napapanis na!!
Mom told me to take a bath on the Fifteenth day instead
Made punas-punas using HOT water with Vinagre Aromatico!

March 21, 2011 (Monday)
Fourteenth day of no ligo day!
I am VERY excited for tomorrow - kasi finally, I can wash my hair!!
My scalp is itchy, there are what seems to be dandruff like thingies on my hair, STILL the panis like smell is getting to me (although my mom says they can't smell it from a distance)
Made punas-punas using HOT water with Vinagre Aromatico!


March 22, 2011 (Tuesday)
FINALLY!!
The time has come for me to take a bath!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Kailee's cheeks!!

My baby's cheeks!!

Kaka-gigil!!!

My Birthing Story

Here's my birthing story, posted it on my other blog..


Read the rest of the entry at:
http://candishhh.blogspot.com/2011/03/why-ive-been-away.html

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Pain: irritating as hell!!

Pain's a bitch yes - and I am one who has a low tolerance of!!

Every contraction (braxton hicks) that I feel - I cringe and hope that it goes away instantly..

The ones that are 30 seconds long are bearable, but once it goes more than the 30 seconds - my gosh, I clench into a fist, curl my toes and cringe!  Sometimes its outrageously painful and sometime its the exact opposite - it seems a little more bearable. 

I wish I can just pop a pill to make the pain go away!!!!!!!!!!!

Please pray for meeeeeee!!!!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Bloody show

Last Friday night, my Panget and I walked and walked in Trinoma.

As per the advice of my OB - I should start walking to engage my labor.  And to be honest, it was only the 3rd time in the whole week that I followed her advise.  I walked a bit and felt a little tired, but my Panget insisted that I walk more, and so we did.  We walked for two hours doing a little shopping of course!! :)  (Thanks Panget!!)

Yesterday morning when I woke up, I felt a little cramp that I just dismissed.  I didn't think it was important or the start of my labor because - my tummy was still 'mataas' and that I haven't been walking much.  On our way to designer Edwin Tan's shop in Mandaluyong - I'd feel bothered whenever we'd encounter a pothole on the road, I felt like my stomach was being shaken or something.  I simply told my Panget to drive more slowly and to avoid potholes.

When we got to my mom's house for lunch - I immediately went to the bathroom, and since I have this habit of wiping myself after I pee - I saw pinkish red stains on the tissue paper.  I was confused, I mean it has been a loooong time since I last saw pinkish red discharge right?  And so I wiped again - it was blood.  So I stool up and looked that the toilet bowl - true enough, the water was red.  I got scared.

When I sat down on the dining table - I told everyone that I might be giving birth soon since there was already blood.  I remember my friend Alch - she had a bloody discharge and the next day, she already gave birth!  Everyone was so relaxed - even my Panget, he was telling me that it was nothing.  But seeing the blood for me, didn't mean it was normal - it was obviously NOT normal!  Good thing we had a doctor's appointment that same afternoon.

When I got to my OB's clinic - I immediately told her that there was a bloody discharge, to which she replied 'I like that!'  Hahaha - what the hell does that mean exactly?  Well to her it meant that my cervix is already preparing - she asked if it was a continuous discharge and I said no - she then did an IE on my and declared that the baby was still high and my cervix is just 1cm.  She also asked if I was experiencing contractions - the problem is, I don't know what contractions are!  Hahaha!  She described it as cramp-like pain, and I said I don't feel any pain at all.  She told me to take it easy on the walking but I still could if I wanted to.  She also told me that it might take a few more days or at the most a week - and not to worry.  She said for me to call her anytime if I feel the need, and that if I was not sure - I could go to the hospital and have myself checked, the nurses will call my doctor for a decision.

So last night, I was scared - there was this cramp-like thing that I felt - and I thought, is this it?  Then it occurred to me, that I should start counting already - and I did.  The cramps lasted about 30 seconds and they came every 10 to 15 minutes!  Some were not painful, some were mild and some were a little unbearable.  I didn't think I could sleep, but I did - thank goodness!! :)

So there - I think my time is nearing - Baby K will be out in a few days.

Wish me luck and pray for me for a safe and speedy delivery!!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Baby's Room is all set!!

Finally!!

The baby's room is all set - the only one missing is - the baby!! :)

My friend Shappy gave birth yesterday - and her estimated due date was I think a week or two after me!  It seems that my baby K is very shy.

Doctor said for me to start walking - to engage the baby's birth.  And I have been, but I think its kulang!  Hahahaha...

By the way, we've finally decided to give birth in Cardinal Santos is Greenhills.  Its our first choice actually and good thing, our OB was agreeable to it.

I hope I give birth smooth fast and safely!!

We're sort of excited - hahaha!!!

But I think I won't be prepared for the sleepless nights!! Hihihi.

Friday, February 25, 2011

My dearest Kaeli

My dearest Kaeli,

Soon, you will be born - I really wonder what you look like, do you look like me?  or do you look like Papa Panget?  This is what I think about most of the time.

Will you be a good baby?  Or an iyakin baby?  Will you be matiisin?  Or a constant crier?

Please don't give me a hard time giving birth to you - or else, wala ka ng kapatid!  Just kidding...

We can't wait to see you!!

Getting ready for your birth has been exciting and overwhelming - but nevertheless, I know that I will love you forever and ever!! :)

Love, Didi Mom

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Meant to be..

I am one of those who believe that things happen for a reason, and when its meant to be - it is meant to be.  You all know that I have been looking for a newborn yaya since November 2010.  I was told that it was never too early to look for one.  And in the months that I have searched - I have been frustrated, let down and stressed - to the point that I just wanted to give up!

Looking for a newborn yaya is hard, especially if you're a first time mom like me.

Two Saturdays ago, my Panget and I went to see my OB - Dra. Pilar at her West Avenue clinic.  On the same building, my friend Sandra - who was our interior designer holds office.  I know for a fact that they do not have office on Saturdays, but I guess that particular Saturday - they were cleaning up!  My Panget hand delivered an invitation to their office and found out that Sandra was there.  I wanted to say 'Hi' but I was waiting at the elevator - I just waved at her.

After our doctor's appointment, we passed by Sandra's office to say 'bye'.  We were exchanging hellos and talking about how things were with our lives.  You see, Sandra is a classmate, a seatmate to be more clearly.  She sat behind me in class - she was the most meticulous notes taker that I have ever known.  She takes down notes like a professional - that means, she writes EVERYTHING down - I mean literally everything.  When you read her notes in class - it will seem like you're taken back to the class - it was complete, everything the teacher discussed - every word uttered was written down.  Aside from this, Sandra is a great artist - she drew very well and I remember telling her that I will hire her to do my house.  And my Panget and I did.  The funny thing was - my in laws bought our present house from Sandra's husband's family - and it just so happens that I wanted Sandra to do the interiors for us.  And mind you - she did a WONDERFUL job, and I am eternally thankful to her for that.

So, we were chatting along and Sandra asked how I was, I told her I was okay but I was having problems looking for a yaya.  I told her that if she knew anyone - to let me know.  She immediately said that she knew someone - her former yaya, the yaya of her daughter.  I remember that yaya - through Sandra's stories while we were renovating the house.  I remember Sandra was so stressed because her yaya told her that she was pregnant!  That meant, Sandra had to look for a replacement - I remember clearly that she was happy with the yaya, it was just unfortunate that the yaya got pregnant and had to leave and that was mid 2009.  So fast forward to 2011, her former yaya gave her a call - asking if she knew available work for her because she wanted to resume work already, her child was old enough to be cared for by her parents.  Sandra then told me that she'd give this yaya a call to tell her that I was looking for a yaya.  So imagine my happiness when she told me this!  I was really hoping that this might be the one.

The next day - my Panget was already telling me to text Sandra to remind her about the yaya.  I was too nahihiya to text her and waited until Monday morning to do so.  And by lunch time - Sandra gave me a call, telling me to call the number she will be forwarding - because her former yaya was already in the agency and was looking for work already.  So I called the number - I spoke to her and she seemed nice (as all of the yayas that I spoke to on the phone) then I told her that I wanted to interview her in person.  She then agreed - she asked where I can pick her up, I have landmarks for place but the only place she was familiar with was the house of Sandra.  And so I decided to pick her up there.  And hour or so later - she texts me that she was there, ready to be picked up.  So I asked my driver to pick her up.

When she arrived at the office, she looked happy.  My mom and I interviewed her and she seemed okay.  She even told me that Sandra told her to come work for me, so when my mom and I decided to hire her on the spot, her face lit up!  I asked her when she could start - apparently, she brought her things with her - so that meant, she could start right that minute!  And she did.

When we got home - I showed her the baby stuffs my Panget and I bought, she examined them and told me what was lacking which were mostly clothes.  She made me a list and told me what she needed.  It was also nice that she was willing to help out in household chores - she knew how to cook and so my helper (who I also just hired this month) would have extra time to do laundry.  It seemed surreal but I was happy and relaxed.  We knew her former employers and they highly recommended her.

So there - I owe a lot to Sandra and her family.  The house I am staying now was built by them, she was the one who decorated it and now - the yaya of my unborn child was recommended/came from them.  Concidental?  More of - meant to be for me.

Thank you Sands!!!

For EVERYTHING!!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Baby stuffs are here!!!

The baby stuffs have finally arrived!

And everything is falling into place.

Found a yaya who's very helpful and nice.

Bought baby's clothes and things she'll be needing.

And I am scared as hell, because I can give birth anytime now.

Last night, I was reading through the instruction manual of my Medela Freestyle breast pump, and I was overwhelmed!  I mean it seems like a lot of work!  The assembly, the cleaning and the maintenance - my gosh - the process was long.  And since I'm a first time mom, I had to read the instructions twice, just to make sure that I understand what needs to be done.

I also opened two boxes of the Avent Starter set bottles - separated the 9oz. ones from the 4oz. ones.  Tried to fit the 4oz. bottles to the bottle warmer that my Panget bought.

Things are falling into place - and when this happens, it only means one thing - the time is near.

Am I ready?  I don't think I'll ever be.

Am I excited?  A bit, but I'm more afraid.

Things have already changed - and I know they will change more when Baby K arrives.

Time is ticking....

See you soon Baby K!!

But sana you wait for Auntie Kath and Auntie Fran to come home muna ha!! :)

Monday, February 14, 2011

36 weeks and counting..

Officially, I am 36 weeks and 4 days today.

Last Saturday - I went to the doctor to have my regular check-up.  Doctor did an IE and said that I still have at least 2 more weeks to go and that I may hit my EDD - March 11, 2011.

To be honest - I'd like to hit that date - because as of press time, I am STILL NOT ready for giving birth AND motherhood!  I feel like I still have a long way to go and that the past 35 weeks went by so fast!  I honestly took my 35 weeks for granted!  All I did was think about what I wanted to eat!  Hahahaha...

So anyways, after our doctor's appointment (I got my Admission Order from my doctor JUST IN CASE I go into labor early) my Panget and I decided to go to St. Luke's QC to check out the facilities and the rooms that will be available.  Honestly, I was dreading the hospital tour - because I knew that:
a)  We will have a hard time looking for parking
b)  The staff will be masungit
c)  The staff will be a little slow in understanding our needs
d)  The hospital will be too chaotic for us

We used the back route going to SLMC-QC, this for us was the fastest way to get there.  No more stoplights no more jeepneys that stop in the middle of the road.  The street leading the way inside SLMC-QC was not quite a straight line - it was zigzag-y and it was making me dizzy!  Finally we saw the newly built parking space (new for us because it was the first time we saw it!)  Then my Panget dropped me off at the lobby - I waited for him there and while waiting, I was asking the receptionist for numbers and details of pediatricians.  I think there are just too many doctors in SLMC-QC because the names I was mentioning - well, she had to check first if they're affiliated with the hopsital - and then pulled out a clearbook with the list of names and details of the doctor like the room number and the times and days they're in the hospital.

When my Panget got to the lobby - we immediately went up to the Delivery Room, the nurses there were smiley and very helpful.  I don't know if my name dropping (I told them that my doctor is Dr. Pilar Lagman-Dy) did that - because when I asked where the High Risk Pregnancy Unit was the nurse showed me the way with a big smile.  When we got to the HRPU - the nurse named Joy was also smiley and uttered 'Kayo pa yung patient ni Dra. Pilar?'  And then she showed us the room and told us the procedure - that once I go into labor - I should go directly to their unit and they will take care of the rest.  The HRPU room or should I call them cubicles (because they're tiny) were private as they're separated by walls and sliding doors - the rooms had their own bed and fetal monitors - a relative or husband may accompany the patient there.  Once the mommy is ready to give birth, the mom will be wheeled in to the delivery room and after giving birth, she will be wheeled to her room.  Joy asked me if I was going to room-in my baby - she said that there's a law that says that I should (I didn't know this) the baby won't be brought to the nursery anymore and instead will be sent to my room for me to take care - I panicked and told her, I didn't know anything about taking care of a baby - she then smiled and said that nurses will be available to assist me anytime the need arises.  I thought to myself - having a yaya on-hand will be advantageous because the yaya can help me already, she can stay up with the baby when I'm resting and vice versa.  (The stress of having to look for a yaya - gosh, I hate the feeling!!)  Joy told us the rate of the HRPU and my Panget immediately said that he wanted me to stay there - because it was private (he has some issues with sharing - hahaha) After that - we went to the nurse's station to ask to see the rooms that were available - the nurse will all smile directed us down to the admissions office.

At the admissions office, I asked the lady behind the counter for a hospital tour - she looked at me confused she then told me to look at the monitor - I of course said NO!  I called the previous week and was told that I could see the actual rooms.  My Panget and I waited for a few minutes and there - a lovely smiley attendant named Chris showed us the rooms.  We went up and down the building walked through a number of rooms - to my shock, the rooms that were shown us, we were - looked like pigeon holes!  They were so tiny!  The bigger ones, the ones we found to be of the right size (for me, my Panget and our baby's bassinet) costs an arm and a leg!  Gosh, it seemed like the cheaper rooms were made for very slim and thin people!  The rooms were ALL equipped with a desktop computer - this made us laugh - because the computer looked so old and out dated, even Chris was laughing at it!  We liked the spaciousness of the executive suites - but the cut of the room was quite odd.  This type of room - Chris said, they had a LOT of - while the Large Privated rooms and Premier rooms, well - only two of each room exists!  Hilarious and odd at the same time right?

The tour gave us an idea on what to expect somehow.  At least now, I won't get lost or be confused on where to go.  I am the type kasi who wants to know ahead of time the things that will be happening, so I can map out a plan and prepare myself.  That is why I like reading spoilers and hearing the ending of movies even before watching them.  Hahahaha!!  I'm strange like that!!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Still NO yaya..

The stress levels are high!!

Because almost everyday - my Panget will ask me 'May Yaya ka na bang nahanap?'

Everytime he asks me this - I want to wring his neck, why?  Because looking for a yaya is NOT that easy!  It's not as if I can just pull them out of a hat and voila!  Yaya is here!  The process is long and very taxing - you should do background checks and interview them on the phone and in person.  Plus, not all potential yayas tell the truth - this I think is the most taxing of all, I mean you believe them YET they tell you lies - just to get you to hire them!  Agencies have outrageous office fees - and this doesn't guarantee that the yaya is good.

There's this agency - where my friend gets her helpers and just recently a yaya.  I called the agency to inqure and while interviewing the person in charge - I had high hopes.  Then after a few days, they call me to tell me that there's a newborn yaya who's available - I interview her, but I feel like I need to see her before hiring her.  Of course, I'm still working - that means, I cannot pull myself out of work and see this potential yaya, right?  Well, this agency gives me an ultimatum - come to the agency or lose the potential yaya.  To hell with the ultimatum right?  I was busy so I let her go.  The agency then calls me in the next few days - making me interview other potential yayas - until one day, I told myself that I will really go and see for myself the person I interviewed.  I told my mom to come with me, and when we got to the agency's office - my mom immediately told me in confidence 'Gusto mo ba ganyan ang itsura ng mag-aalaga sa baby mo?'  Now - why did my mom say that?  It was because the potential yaya looked really malnourished!  She looked so thin and weak!  When we asked her why she looked that way - she just replied that it was because of her former employer - 'napagod' daw siya ng husto.  We then asked her how long she was with them - she said three (3) years!  And she volunteered the reason why she left - it was because her former employer was a drug addict!  We then asked her how she knew of her for employer's condition - she then said that there was chismis BUT she didn't want to believe it daw - even if the former househelp left one by one.  My mom again asked her 'Bakit ngayon mo lang nalaman na drug addict pala siya?  Hindi ba mga unang dalawang buwan, mapapansin mo na?'  She then replied it was because she doesn't work closely with the  mom - but the other helpers did.  Tsaka lang siya naniwala when she saw how the mom was last December 2010 and that's when she decided to leave na.

My mom was giving me signals that she doesn't trust this potential yaya.  It was only through that interview that I learned of the reason why she left - on the phone, she just said that she was getting too tired!  So again, YAYA HUNT - FAIL!  When we left the agency, I called the agency to ask - why they referred a yaya like her - I asked if this potential yaya was an old applicant, they said she was new - but then they screened her VERY WELL!  I then retorted - had they screened well, we would have known the REAL reason why she left her former employer?!  Right?

After this incident - the agency never called me back - that was up until last Saturday morning!  On my way to Mercato Centrale - where I bought breastmilk trays.  I received a call from them telling me that there's a 'magaling' na yaya - and that this yaya came from Judy Ann Santos.  So I asked again if this was a new applicant or an old one - she said a new one.  My next question was - how they knew she was very good?  It doesn't mean that if she came from Judy Ann Santos, she automatically becomes very good at her job!  I asked why the yaya left - the agency person said 'Hindi sila magkasundo ng nurse ni Judy Ann'  To which I asked how long this yaya was with Judy Ann - guess what the answer was 'ONE MONTH!'  Now, how can a yaya for a month say that she's very good?  She just lasted for 30 freaking days!  I got upset and asked for old employers - the yaya was willing to give out the numbers of her old employers - but she had to inform her previous employers that I will be calling.  The agency person then told me that she will text me the numbers of the former employers - and so I am waiting, until this morning.  I just wanted to see what was taking so long - I called the agency and the person said that the asking price was too high - 8K.  I then told her, I was asking when she will text me the numbers of the previous employers - she then said, that the applicant is coming back when the agency finds her a suitable employer who was willing to shell out 8k a month!  See how this agency person is NOT answering my questions directly?

I had to give her a piece of my mind.  I told her 'Sa susunod, sana sabihin niyo nalang yung totoo.  Pag sinabi ninyong magtetext kayo, mag-text kayo, kung ano man ang update - let's say hindi ibingay, ibalita niyo sa akin para at least alam ko at hindi ako naghihintay sa wala' 

Hay nako talaga!!!

Monday, January 31, 2011

Yaya Hunting..

I have been hunting... since November..

And so far - I've found none..

It's actually a risk - because we won't know for sure how she will be when my baby comes.  But as of the moment, I am getting stressed that I can't find one.

I have been calling agencies - I have been interviewing left and right, but so far - those that I have interviewed are, well - not so good!  There was one that sounded really good on paper, and when I asked for her previous employers - she gave me names, well known names actually.  I was taken aback honestly because I had connections to these names that she gave me!  One was the boss of a friend and the other was the sister in law of a friend.  I told the yaya to make sure that she gives me the correct information because I can confirm with her previous employers - and she was confident!  She had the following informations:

Age:  40

Employer #1 - Boss of the friend
Stayed with her for 2 years
Left because when she came back from her vacation, there was already a replacement.

Employer #2 - Sister in law of a friend
Stayed with her for 5 years
Left because the child was too much for her to handle already

Employer #3 - Wife of the Nueva Ecija governor
Stayed with her for 2 years
Left because when she came back from her vacation, there was already a replacement.

That same night, I called my friend who's boss was Yaya's former employer.  At 10am the next morning, I got a call from my friend.  According to her boss - Yaya is not very nice, she works okay but has a habit of bad mouthing her former employers and Yaya lied when she said that she stayed 2 years with her - apparently, Yaya left after one year.  Yaya asked for a vacation and NEVER came back - the boss learned that Yaya went to work for Employer #2 already.  When my friend asked for Yaya's age - I said 40 - she laughed!  Because apparently, two years ago - Yaya was already 40!

After a few weeks, my friend whose sister in law was Employer #2 sent me a text message saying that Yaya is not so okay, and that Yaya is very materialistic.

Fail diba??

As for the others, well - they seemed okay BUT I haven't met them personally so, I can't say if they're okay or not.  Agencies have this habit of forcing me to decide ASAP.  Which I am not keen on doing so..  I believe that if its meant to be - its meant to be.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Fears VS Excitement

As my due date gets near - I am getting more afraid. 

Why?  Because honestly, I fear pain, I fear the sight of blood, the sight of needles, the hulabaloo of it all, and most especially the fear of the unknown.

I am getting emotional these days - thoughts and wonders of worries are always there.  I am clueless on the things that will be happening to me.  Friends say to enjoy the ride, but how am I supposed to enjoy the ride when I am clueless?  You see, I am the type of person who wants to somehow know whats going to happen, at least to have an idea on what will transpire - so I can prepare myself, somehow.  Weird as it is, but that's me.  Hahahaha!!

My body is getting heavier - I can feel it in my knees.  My walk is different, my sleep is different, everything is different!  Hahaha...

My excitement is overshadowed by fear - I am still not prepared!

Some friends say that I have nine (9) months to prepare, but I just have two (2) months left and STILL I am half-baked.

Sigh....

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Almost 31 weeks..

I am nearing my due date..

Honestly, I am more scared than excited.  Why?  Because I fear pain, blood and the unknown.  I am weird like that.  Some get excited, I get scared!  Hahaha... 

Reading my kinakapatid's blog about her babies, made me a little excited.  There are ups and downs of course, but seems like every experience is priceless!

Right now, my feet are propped up - my feet are fat.. and my feet are not normally fat!  They're actually narrow and thin.  Sigh.. A lot of people say - konting tiis nalang daw, I wish!!

My underarms are super dark na.. It's quite embarrassing to stretch my arms upwards - but I don't care anymore!  Hahaha... Yes, I am that 'makapal'.  Hahahaha!! :)

Dear baby - please don't make it hard for me ha... or else you'll be the only one!!  Ayokong ma-trauma!! Hahahaha....

BTW - I've gained around 25lbs already, and I have 2 more months to go!!  My OB has told me to slow down on my holiday eating.  Hahaha!!  I wonder how much weight I've gained this week.  Wish me luck!! Hahaha...

Happy New Year!!! :)